dadcraft Don’ts: What Not to Text Your Wife

  by Andrew Wolgemuth

When your wife is out and you’re watching the kids, questions that would benefit from her input are bound to arise. It’s only natural: she’s like Wikipedia for the family. “It’s a Tuesday in May, temps are in the 70s though it’s overcast…what is Harriet likely to be hungry for at lunchtime?” She’s got the answer.

As a result, it’s tempting to text her questions for every topic that arises. And there are certainly situations that merit a quick text…but if you really want to give her a break, there’s wisdom in not asking her every question that enters your brain.

And there is dadcraft wisdom in never asking the following via text.

  • Hey Hon. Quick question: what’s Jimmy’s blood type? O positive, right?
  • Hope you’re enjoying time with your friends. A tooth stays viable longer if it’s in milk, correct?
  • Re: Jill – she’s up-to-date on her tetanus booster?
  • I know dogs shouldn’t eat chicken bones, but they’re the only species where swallowing chicken bones are a real concern, right?
  • What’s likely to set in carpet faster: barf or blood?
  • “Non-toxic” applies regardless of how much is consumed? y/n?
  • You’ve got the baby, yeah?

On the other hand, “Bet you can’t beat my record on the obstacle course I made with the kids” is a pretty great message to send.

Text wisely, friends.


Don’t just survive while she’s out, do some cool stuff with the kids.
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