Kung Fu Night

  by Erik Wolgemuth

The ancient art of kung fu blends the subtleties of strength, mystique, purpose, grace and intensity. When these elements come together effectively, the result is captivating. There’s a nobility to the art that’s inescapable, and this is one of the many reasons why an entire evening themed around kung fu needs no further endorsement. It’s safe to say at the onset, however, that your evening will most certainly not bring the perfect combination of the kung fu components, but hilarity will ensue.

While an entire evening themed around kung fu might seem like a tall order, it’s actually easy to pull off. There are a just few key ingredients and directions that you need to know in order to create a finely tuned dadcraft event.

Ingredients: costumes (if nothing else, make sure everyone has a headband), kung fu names, ramen noodles, stuffed animals and music.

Directions: It’s best to begin by composing a formal invitation letter to the summoned kung fu masters in your household a few hours in advance of the festivities. This will allow them the opportunity to properly amp up, practice their moves and determine attire.

Once your themed evening commences, but before undertaking intensive kung fu, a meal serves as an appropriate starting point…and plunking down a quarter (or two) for packs of ramen noodles will bring far more satisfaction than hanging on to that $.25 piece in your pocket. (Assuming you want to ration out your recommended yearly allowances in sodium and MSG rather than cash it in all at once, ditch the flavor packet, serve in low-sodium chicken broth instead and add some spices.) If you can swing it, get chopsticks and make sure your kung fu masters know that slurping of noodles is required.

Following your deliciously frugal, yet oddly satisfying and college-nostalgia-inducing meal, it’s time for training. Assemble a hoard of cutthroat, bloodthirsty stuffed animals – resisting their wily, cuddly charms – and instruct your young masters in the art of stealth, speed and the raining fists of fury. If training progresses well, don’t be afraid to advance to punching through wood (of the previously pulped, microscopically thick, 8.5×11, college-ruled variety).

The capstone of your kung fu adventures should involve three things:

  1. Kung fu presentations from each young master. Don’t be afraid to encourage them to showcase moves such as the Thousand Pound Fist, the Swirling Typhoon of Thunder and the Face of Unending Rage;
  2. A kung fu battle royale…wherein the students exceed the skills of the master and force you to surrender; and
  3. A kung fu dance party. And, if you’re wondering, of course you should be dancing to “Kung Fu Fighting.”

DadCraft Pro Tip: One simple thing is needed to take your concluding dance party over the top – glow sticks. Get the kind you can secure as bracelets, gear up arms and legs, kill the lights, hit the music and enjoy.

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Wily kung fu warriors also make for wise scavenger hunters. And sometimes an obstacle course doubles the fun of a kung fu night.